For a rough day.

When you're having a rough day, just remember it's going to be ok. This is one sucky day, but soon you'll go to bed and be able try again tomorrow. Just start with a clean slate tomorrow and you kid will love you no less.

You are still You

Congratulations, you are a parent. You've added one more to your familial circle. Now your whole life is diapers, little shirts, cute hats, and pinterest. Right?

Wrong!
Let you be you still.

This is hard to remember at first. There is a huge stigma that once you become a parent, your life is your kids, and for some that may be true, but I honestly don't believe it.  Sure, your kids are important, very. They're our offspring, and it's our job as parents not to let them turn into tyrants and douchebags. We do our best to find cute outfits, and take time to come up with activities. We search high and low for the right formula to feed them, the right bottles to use, orthopedic pacifiers. It's crazy how much money and time we invest in our kids. So much time and money it becomes too easy to forget ourselves. What about the new knitting patterns, the latest James Patterson book, the sweet tattoo you wanted to design?

For 3 years I was victim of this myelf. The first three years of pregnancy and mommyhood. I was consumed with thoughts of how to make my kid active and involved. I lived on Pinterest and the Bump, thrived on my retail job, and fell asleep early. I found little time for my husband and even less for me. I loved video games, nerd/geek culture (yes science and sci-fi), and lived for making websites. While I could still watch some stuff, I found myself looking for new baby shows instead of new anime shows in my free time.

I've slowly begun getting back to my passions. This has helped my creativity and sanity, and social etiquette. Suddenly not every other sentence out of my mouth is about my kid. Just listen to yourself sometime; you used to think those who talk about nothing but their kids got tiring. You'd pray they'd add in a dirty joke or science reference or even something about work. Now you're on the other end, do your friends a favor, talk about something else.

I don't feel as trapped, when I'm home with my kid for hours on end, and I remember the joy of what was and my kid sees it. He sees what genuine fun is. Think of when someone close to you is excited and happy about something they're invested in, your kid sees that when you're talking about something you love. They don't get what they're seeing, but they see you happy and that makes them happy. It's a great example. When they get older, I'll be able to talk about something relevent to my kid other than their own childhood.

Remember, you are not your kid. Your kid is your kid. They will find their own interests on their own. Yes, play with them, be with them, but don't force feed them everything. Who knows, maybe they'll enjoy something you enjoy, and you can be the one to show them the way.

Also, it's very hard when they get older and want to find some gift for you. You can only buy so many ties and jewelry is expensive when you're a kid. I still have issues finding gifts for my dad, his hobby is family but there's only so many picture frames and "Worlds Best __" mugs.

Not a Pinterest Mom, Class Party Dilema

The pinterest mom. The mom who sees it and makes it, and it looks incredible! Hats, scarves, gloves, giant forts, mini forts, art easels, snackadiums, and more. Some of us love them, most of us envy them, and some even hate them. I'm mostly on the envy side. For the time and carefulness it takes to make that stuff. I'd love the time and patience to prefect my rose carrots, and meticulously cut out edible rabbits that you can eat. And that indoor jungle gym out of pallets, man oh man! Don't even get me started on those avenger crocheted hats that I wish I could learn to make.

My point is, you don't have to be a that mom to make something nice for a class party. I'm crafty, I like crafts. Popsicle picture frames and coloring pages are my forte. I'm a kid too, I like to color and make projects, but I have no where near the knowledge or fortitude to begin some pinterest imitated project. I'm a 90s mom, not a pinterest mom. I've put together cute goodie bags for most of his classes, but I also think of those over bearing parents who want organic everything and no sugar. It's impossible to please all but here's what I do to seem like the conscientious parent.

Goodie bag, plastic, mostly see through with a basic non-denominational, non-sexist message. (i.e. Happily Holidays, snowmen, presents, smiley faces, arrows with hearts, Happy Valentines day, shamrocks, rainbows with pots of gold, sunshine, rain, clouds) Something cute but nothing that screams boys or girls. Hard to do, I know but they're out there. I get mine from Walmart, Target, Party City, Hobby Lobby or Michaels mostly.

Candy. Yes, Candy. Don't put too much in, anywhere from 2-5 pieces per kid is sufficient, small sized is important. You want parents to see you are fun but you're respectful. It's they're choice if they want the kid to eat all the candy at once or just one piece a night. Typically chocolate is good, sometimes something gummy. I try to avoid starburst  or sweet tarts, it's a bit much for little kids, but as they get older it should be fine. Don't do sour or hot for little kids. They're fun but not for kids under 5 who don't know what's coming.

Add in a toy or something non-food. Not all kids can enjoy candy. The sugar, the nuts, the red dye no. 6. It's annoying how many allergies there are out there, but it's real. You don't want to single any kid out, so add in a small toy or a pen or something else fun and gender neutral. Some ideas include: whistle, parachute dude, glow bracelet, jumping frog, little notebook and pen set, stickers, silly straws.

Each little goodie bag needs only a few things. The smaller the kids are, the less they need. The older they are, the more impressive you might think they need to be, but that's not so. Funny thing about kids, they like opening things. Even if they can see it, the satisfaction or opening something and getting to take it out is a little bit of fun. You can put the stuff together in a bag or a box or a tin can, they'll appreciate it. Any candy will work, they won't hate on your kid because they were given some off brand, candy is candy, just make sure it's wrapped. And the toy doesn't matter either, the toy is probably being forgotten about in a day or two anyway, so go for something cheap. You really shouldn't need to spend more than $1-2 on each kid in the end. I will spend about $20-25 in total on bags, toys and candy, but my kid has about 20ish kids in his class so it makes it very simple to just put together a goodie bag and call it a day. I typically don't put names on the bags, you never know who will be added last minute and you never want to single the kid out, so add in one extra just in case. After the party, your own kid can have it or the teacher can decide what to do with the extras.